Cheeseburger, large fries, and a cosmopolitan, please!

Sex and the City, its influence on today’s New Yorkers, and those of the past.

Talking about sex on television surely was an early 2000s hit! Having aired in 1998, Sex and the City broke boundaries within what had been acceptable to showcase on HBO Max. Because of this, TV shows have emerged pushing provocativeness and openness in regard to sex, sex, and more sex! Iconic and important to include in this discourse are Gossip Girl (2022) and The Sex Lives of College Girls (2021), if you want to bring into discussion something more up to date. But what did the legacy of Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) and her girl group leave behind? (besides her dinner order)... Falling into the rabbit hole of binge-watching television… I became a victim, getting sucked into the four women pursuing love interests and openly discussing their sexual ventures. This had been more than just a show in which women were portrayed navigating dating life within New York City, it had encouraged a cultural earthquake. Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha brought sex into public discourse, dissecting the topic, joking about it, celebrating, and critiquing, with general and specific observations that came from their own experiences. Through this, Sex and the City aided in the shift of public discourse toward more open, inclusive, and normalized understandings and expectations in sex, romantic and platonic relationships.

Thinking about progressive pieces, how progressive was Sex and the City? This conversation can only be opened with Samantha Jones, played by Kim Cattrall. A PR executive  honest about her wants and needs, which are sex and power, showcased someone who lived on her own terms. There is nothing that gets her off more than the power and importance she feels in reeling a man in for her own desires and interests. She had been an unapologetic hedonist, refusing shame and claimed all the sexual pleasure as she could within her own sphere. Samantha’s character carved space for women to enjoy sex without villanization, and refused feeling shamed. Having been the most controversial character, Samantha could be known as the most revolutionary woman in the show. As a strong willed and confident woman, she challenged the concept of women's shameful sense of sexual dichotomy through being someone who enjoyed sex, sought pleasure, and had depth and loyalty within her relationships. She helped to redefine empowerment, and what that could look like – straying from traditional set in stone values and expectations. Samantha’s character painted herself as a sexually confident woman, making bold statements about women enjoying sex, ageism, and non-monogamous, kinky, casual sex. While society often vilifies women who stray from the trad life, Samantha stood as proof that pleasure does not diminish dignity or success, embodying the concept of sex positivity, prior to its modern day popularity.

Charlotte York (Kristin Davis), is a romantic traditionalist, however not lacking complexity, is an interesting counterpart to Samantha, making their friendship fascinating to watch. Through the character development and storyline – it can be seen that even women who desire a traditional lifestyle of monogamous marriage and raising children, were still grappling with sexual intimacy on their own terms. Dreaming of these milestones, and the happily-ever-after, Charlotte’s journey is far more complex than just traditional ideals. Although Charlotte can be considered a Park Avenue princess, the storylines surrounding her character provided the audience with knowledge in issues such as unsatisfying sex, infertility, divorce, and the idea of a woman’s reinvention. Her character provided a voice for women who may be craving conventional milestones, but showing them on her terms. Charlotte’s character development acknowledges that these desires for marriage and children do not preclude sexual agency. With this in mind, Charlotte’s character moves throughout the show, learning that these traditional desires can coexist with her own and her friends feminist values and expectations. Through these periods of enlightenment, Charlotte had the ability to explore sexual repression and awakenings, with an arc including the navigation of intimacy and redefining fulfillment. Her desires were not shamed, but rather showcased with their own complications and challenges, fighting against the idealized perfections within societal expectations. 

A pragmatic feminist, Miranda Hobbes (Cynthia Nixon), is a career-driven lawyer, one who pushes back against any societal expectations. Being introduced as a skeptical, independent woman, who calls out any action or remark that is the slightest bit sexist or in line with romantic delusion, she brings out the fight of feminist values of the y2k era within the friend group. However, her character also criticized work-life balance, especially for single mothers, and normalized the idea of single parenthood. In later seasons, Miranda had represented bisexuality and sexual fluidity, providing the audience with normalization of exploration in personal identities. Through this, her arc showcased the drive and ambition of a headstrong, working woman, whose life progressed into motherhood and desire, which were not mutually exclusive. This fulfillment as seen from Miranda’s character development is a revolution within oneself, a script that is constantly changing. Being critical of pressures to conform, Miranda is a woman who is not afraid of prioritizing herself and her goals. Through critiques of gender roles and of balance of work and intimacy, she portrayed validity in the ambivalence of motherhood and marriage. Not following a traditional path, Miranda gave women a sense of legitimacy and strength in their nonconformity. 

The defining woman, and a philosopher of pleasure, Carrie Bradshaw (Sarah Jessica Parker) had been a sex and relationship columnist, as well as, the show’s narrator. She turns to her column to provide her readers with the sexual experiences of her and her friends, which is in of itself a radical experience: a woman throwing the depths of her sex life, relationships, and heartbreak into the public sphere with curiosity and candor. Carrie documents and navigates the ever-shifting landscape of dating and sex in the societal sphere of New York City. She questions in a column entry, “In a city as cynical as New York, is it still possible to believe in love at first sight?” Much of her writing stems from lived experiences that turn into cultural critiques, often taking note of dating in the city, and how this differs or provides challenges to both men and women. Through this, Carrie’s character helps to normalize open discourse about sex, romantic ambivalence on her own terms, and giving way to change in relationships, careers, and who someone is expected to become. Her impact comes strongly within her writing and narrating, as she shows that exploration does not end in your 20s, but rather is encompassed throughout all stages of life, in stumbling across questionable choices, uncertainty in interests and careers, and always reflecting. Carrie’s character development is the pinnacle of a sense of self-inquiry, thus pushing the audience into acknowledgment of this journey as part of self liberation.

The differences amongst all the women encompasses the show, and brings the idea that all women regardless of their sexual values and experiences may come together and bring forth new ideas about their love lives. Although this show fully focused on themes of sex and sexual identity, it was also about strong willed friendship of women in their 30s and 40s. These women all embodied various approaches to love, relationships, identity, and coexisting within one public sphere, together. They often challenge, disagree, or clash over values, but their friendships stay true to one another, creating spaces of nonjudgemental honesty, ensuring every perspective, boundary, and opinion is heard. Living in a society that most often pits women against one another, the bond these women created illustrates that solidarity can thrive amidst diversity and differences. Within a cultural landscape which defines women by their male counterparts, Sex and the City enthralled audiences with a new idea of sex and friendship. Going to brunches and  late-night phone calls were just as important as proposals and weddings. Their group is proof that female friendship is not simply a backdrop for romance, but seen as a central and sustaining force – reminding viewers that chosen relationships are just as vital in confidence and community building. Bringing wildly different perspectives on life, the women’s bond mattered just as much as romantic partnerships. With portrayal of female friendships as sustaining, complex, and not central or exclusive to certain ideologies, and not just secondary to romance, the series carved out new cultural spaces for platonic and romantic relationship expectations and ideals. 

By expanding on the cultural imagination through and around sex and relationships, the series insisted on sexuality as a diverse, ongoing conversation that required representation (to a degree). Ways in which Sex and the City expanded was through cultural imagination within relationships. Television during this time period was largely limiting women’s stories to marriage plots or quiet romances within series that insisted in suppressing sexuality as a diverse, ongoing, revolutionary concept. Thus showcasing Samantha, Charlotte, Miranda and Carrie as worthy characters of representation. There was no shaming or villanization of explorations within the character’s storylines and sexual or romantic interests. Providing acknowledgment and pushes towards polyamory and non-monogamy, show characters as they navigate open relationships and unconventional dynamics. As mentioned, these experiences were not always framed perfectly, however they opened the door for more mainstream consideration of various types of relationships. A lot of discourse of adulthood centered around the “explore in your 20s, then settle down,” narrative, and these women were shown in their 30s and 40s thriving, and making segway for straying from traditional timelines. Sex, pleasure, and self-discovery should be viewed as lifelong pursuits – not as concepts that expire once women reach a certain age. Weaving in sexual exploration into everyday conversation and publicly through Carrie’s column, the show paved the way for honesty, inclusivity, and liberated discourse, which can be traced to the current culture in 2025. Carrie throughout the duration of the show explores a relationship with a younger man, one who identifies as bisexual, and brought about the earliest prime-time conversation within different sexual identities. Amongst the positivity, there were some character reactions reflecting cultural biases of the late 90s, however, the story highlighted bisexuality as an identity that can be discussed and accepted. Queerness was highlighted further through characters such as Stanford and Anthony, who were given visibility and were not just sidekicks, but complex characters whose desires, careers, and romantic struggles were emphasized. The inclusivity within the show towards these characters provided a reflection on the 90s cultural shift toward acknowledging Queer identities. The message within Sex and the City was clear – sexuality is not a definitive concept, but everyone, and especially women have the right to define their own paths. This show reflects progression, amongst limitations of its era. The cultural push initiated by the characters and storylines were undeniable. 

Although now dated in these views and ideologies, the modern public sphere is infinitely socially aware and more politically correct when compared to the show’s airing in 1998. Not all media is perfect, and to pinpoint 2000s feminism when compared to the modern day acknowledgement of inclusivity and intersectionality is imperative to assist in dismantling early and harmful thoughts and effects of pop culture. Having the ability to be aware of holes in women’s philosophies showcases growth within societal concepts and the conceptualization of sex positivity and openness to different lifestyles. Being a groundbreaking show, there were cultural blind spots associated with the 90s and early 00s. Race and representation in Sex and the City is where inclusivity stopped short. The cast as bearing overwhelming white, privileged women who came from money, characters of color only appeared briefly as love interests, side characters or background figures – rarely as fully developed characters. As a show representing urban lifestyles and the city as a whole, this lack of representation was not one to be dismissed. The show and characters rarely touched on how race, class, and gender intersect within identities, relationships, and within public discourse. Through a central lens of wealthy, white, cisgender women, it limited scopes of sex positivity, showcasing liberation as glamorous, and potentially inaccessible to certain viewers or realities of those living in the city at the time. As mentioned, class privilege was rarely acknowledged within the show, glamorizing a lifestyle of designer shoes, luxury apartments, and endless brunches. Potentially aspirational for viewers, there was little to no room in representing working-class struggles or women, outside of the financial realities which were showcased in Carrie’s rare rent panics. Through this, the show had narrowed its own inclusivity by centering around a privileged portrayal of womanhood. Although Queer identities were showcased through the characters of Stanford and Anthony, they had been secluded within their identity and often stereotyped – with other Lesbian characters appearing fleetingly, alongside the exclusion of Trans folk. In this way, the show embodies both progress and limitation, expanding on conversations around women’s sexuality, nontraditional relationships, and Queer identities, however in a narrow frame of privilege. 

In modern society, Sex and the City can be recognized as part of the start of revolution within public discourse, but also lacking and to some degree incomplete. This put women’s sexual lives at the center of the story, treating friendships as a sacred act and concept, and opening space for conversations about relationships and identities that were not explored publicly, especially in prime-time television. The narrow lens guides and reminds that cultural revolutions may often be started partially, leaving room for others to push the conversation further. The show's greatest legacy lies in its insistence on conversations about sex, the messy, complicated, liberating forms shifting feelings of taboo into the heart of mainstream media and culture, an evolving conversation – even today. The legacy of Carrie and her friends is not to present perfect inclusivity, but to break boundaries and spark conversations as groundwork for future shows to push further, such as Girls (2012), Broad City (2014), and Gossip Girl (2021). Sex and the City walked, so that the future of the cinematic universe alongside public discourse could run. So, as Carrie’s staple line and order, a cheeseburger, large fries, and a cosmopolitan, please – is a tiny indulgence that reminds the viewers and current society how far it has come, and how every step toward breaking boundaries matters.